30 Day Challenge – Day 9

Warning: Random anecdote about me ha

Day 9 of my 30 day challenge. The number 9 is actually my lucky number. I stole it from my momma when I was a kid. If you read “30 Day Challenge – Day 6” (coincidentally that’s a 9 turned upside down…) you know her birthday is December 9th. When I was about 6 years old (weird that’s also a coincidence…) I joined my first sports team. I was playing baseball and I got to pick my number. I can’t quite remember if she specifically told me it was HER lucky number or if I just picked it because my mom was my favorite person. Either way, forever more 9 is my lucky number. That’s also the first time I remember being told about “lucky numbers” – superstitions are so wild to me. Anywho –

HERE’S THE ACTUAL START OF THIS POST 🙂

It’s the holiday season and while stress can happen any time of the year, the holidays tend to bring a whole other energy that can really be overwhelming.

When I look up, “Ways to deal with stress” the most common responses are as follows:

1. Exercise
2. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine
3. Get more sleep
4. Relax – meditate, go for a walk, or just take a time out for yourself in some way

Okay, those are all fantastic ideas but what if you’re looking for something that doesn’t require some higher level of awareness?

Obviously exercise is great for everyone – moving your body gets the blood pumping and those happy hormones flowing. BUT, I’m sorry maybe it’s just me, if I’m hyper stressed I may not have time – that’s why I’m stressed. OR I’m nowhere near jumping into an exercise routine right now. Maybe I haven’t worked out ever and I don’t even no where to begin and now I’ve created more stress for myself thinking about how I should really be exercising but I’m not.

Avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine sounds logical. These things can increase anxiety and are generally not considered very good for your health. Okay, sure. But what if when I’m stressed, these are the only constants in my life that bring me some reprieve? Also, we are talking HOLIDAY STRESS of course there’s going to be alcohol…

Relax. Okay first of all, does anything make you less relaxed when you are stressed than someone telling you to, “…just relax!” When you are stressed out (and I’m talking general stress, I will not pretend I am a doctor and can tell you how to remedy your diagnosed anxiety) it’s a great idea to take time for yourself. I can definitely get behind that. But what if you’ve tried to “relax” and your brain just isn’t cooperating. You are on your walk and now, alone with your thoughts, your mind begins running through your unfinished To-Do list and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest because instead of ticking things off of your list you are on this stupid walk thinking about all of the things on your list and it’s winter on the northeast and so it’s cold and so no one else is walking around right now and you begin to panic that if you pass out no one will find you and you’ll freeze to death?

Does that sound like a bit much to you? Well then I don’t know if you know what stress is all about. It’s often completely nonsensical.

This post is already probably too long – or maybe it’s not, I’d love to hear your feedback!! Since I’m not sure though I’m going to pause here and ask you to tune back in tomorrow for Day 10 (I’ll be 1/3 of my way through my 30 Day Challenge, woohoo!) when I tell you some alternative ways to reduce stress.

I’d love to hear from you, for real. How do you deal with stress? What is the most stressful thing for you during the holidays? Talk to me haha

Beautiful palm trees in South Beach Miami – did you know spending time around TREES and even just looking at this picture of trees can reduce stress? Your blood pressure lowers and your mood improves. Look it up!

Aligned

I’ve heard the saying, “the stars aligned…” various times throughout my life and never thought too much of it.

I actually wasn’t planning to publish anything today but too many stars aligning for me not to show gratitude.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

A couple of beautiful things happened to me today.

First, I’ve been kinda cringing at the fact that I am now 3 months from my wedding and still have a solid 10+ lbs I want to lose. Not to mention all the jiggly parts I’d really LOVE to tighten up.

I keep saying, “I really need to step it up; I need to go to the gym. I want to just have someone tell me what to do and make this happen.” And, as I get closer and closer to the wedding I’ve started talking out loud about how I wish I could just go back to OrangeTheory (look it up!) because it really worked FOR ME but it’s so expensive and so I had to cancel my membership when I got laid off in December/January.

Or well, I put it on a “freeze” – which unbeknownst to me had an expiration date (TODAY) and requires me to pay a full month to cancel…

UM – huh? I wasn’t told this.

As incredibly annoying as this is – I have my membership until 9/5/19! And I can start going TODAY.

So, despite the fact that I wasn’t really prepared to make this payment, I’m going to make the best of it and just commit to going as much as possible between now and 9/5. If I have to pay it regardless, I might as well take that gentle nudge from the Universe and go.

My first class is Sunday morning – I work today and tomorrow during their business hours so it’s the next time I can go – and I’m a bit terrified (I’m so out of shape!) but I’m going to try and stay optimistic and be kind to myself until I get into the swing of things.

The Universe was listening to me and gave me exactly what I need. Motivation and means to achieve me goals.

One of my favorite gifts ever from my dear friend and matron of honor. She gets me 🥰

Now the second beautiful thing that happened today came when I got a call from my fiancè. Read my last post, “Hottest Day of the Year” to get the full background story but let’s just say things weren’t looking so good for Jerry’s Jeep.

Fast forward to today and he got a call that everything was related to his battery and now that it’s been replaced the car is fixed! This is weeks earlier than anticipated AND the repair costs were covered (free new battery, woot!) since we had such a hard time with the service calls when the car died, even though we pay for roadside assistance through the dealer. This is also great news! We thought it was the transmission!

LIKE WHAT?? Our car is fixed, sooner than expected AND we don’t have to pay for it?? Also, we were supposed to have an oil change 8/6 so they did that too and we are all set! We have to pay for the oil change only. I can’t express my gratitude enough.

Now – this doesn’t mean I will never have hard days but I do think I’m getting myself much better aligned with the Universe. We are syncing up and I honestly don’t have the words for it.

I’ve experienced a lot of this in the past 6 months since I started truly working on myself (inside) and being more open to what the Universe is all about. But I’m sure it’s something I could have, and maybe on occasion actually have without even noticing, experienced at other points in my life.

The Universe gives back what you put out. Choose to put out positive energy. Choose to show gratitude EVEN when it’s really hard to find something to be grateful for. The more you do this the more you will start to see it returned to you – some believe threefold!

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

Every day is a new day so the choice you have to make is never done – you have to make this choice again and again and again forever. It doesn’t end.

But the more often you choose this path, the more natural it becomes until your alignment is so strong that it takes many more choices of undoing to disconnect you.

People say this as a way to give you hope but what if it’s not placating?

It’s not easy. Finding acceptance, positives or reasons to be grateful when it’s 100 degrees outside and your main mode of transportation is broken down and no one seems to be willing to help you – or any other uncomfortable situation you find yourself in – it’s a challenge. It’s not impossible though.

If you choose it.

Hottest day of the year

This past Saturday was the “HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR” here in the Northeast. Probably other places too but, I was too focused on the 100 degree temperatures plaguing my own region.

On this day, my fiancé’s car decided it was the perfect time to completely stop working.

1 of THREE separate service calls we made – after a failed jump, going in circles with customer service, and a tow truck driver who abandoned us, FOUR + HOURS LATER we finally got a tow to help us. PS this was not that tow. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s kind of how these things go though, right? Just when you are least prepared for it – BAM.

Coincidentally, or perhaps not really a coincidence at all…I have been reading Eckhart Tolle’s, “A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.”

For those of you who actually follow me on here – yes, I’m still reading it.

It’s taken me months, but I’m actually getting really close to finishing the book. It’s taken me months, not because I don’t enjoy the read but, because it’s a pretty heavy topic. I find that I need to have no distractions when I’m reading it and even then, I’ll often go back and re-read certain passages to make sure I’m truly comprehending the words.

Toward the end of the book, after a lot of what is arguably an in-depth look at the various layers that make up our existence and the meaning behind it, the author boils it all down to three primary concepts.

Acceptance, Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm.

If you are not capable of experiencing one of these things in your present state – you aren’t conscious OR you need to STOP what you are doing (i.e. it’s time to make a change). And, without consciousness you are not truly awakened to our life’s purpose. Instead, you are possessed by the ego – who constantly tells you that you are not good enough. The ego is NOT YOU. But it does a damn good impression which can be super confusing.

The ego likes drama – it craves suffering. Why? Well because it must keep you locked up in a prison of your own unconsciousness in order to survive. That misery is what it feeds off of. You see the ego can only exist in a world of form (labels/what the ego can identify) and when we are truly awake we see past the illusion the ego creates that is our “reality”.

So what does this have to do with Saturday, when it was 100 degrees outside and our car broke down?

Well, I certainly wasn’t going to experience any enjoyment or enthusiasm. But acceptance…maybe?

While I was not happy about what was going on – the typical turning of my stomach, shakes, and cold sweats I get when I feel my life spiraling out of control wasn’t there. I had consciously decided to accept what was happening. I decided I needed to accept this situation and focus on what I could control.

This was not easy. Especially with my fiancé being impacted as well. He has not read this book and was definitely not looking for opportunities to find “acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm” out of the situation. He was acting how most people would – angry, stressed, overwhelmed, sick.

His ego, that sneaky devil, latched right on to the opportunity to grow. Every possible terrible consequence was racing through his mind. I could see it on his face, hear it in his words, and he couldn’t sit still. It was consuming him.

Normally I cannot help but be sucked into another’s suffering. But, this time, I decided I would practice acceptance.

The reality is we were safe, the car had died in a diner parking lot (could have been a LOT worse on the side of the road) and I have a car (it’s a beater but it runs!) so we are at least still semi-mobile. Also, when we bought the car we purchased the extended warranty so if it’s anything super major (we suspect the transmission) it should be covered.

It all happened, as I mentioned, on a Saturday. Yes, it was the hottest Saturday and perhaps DAY of the year here in the Northeast but, this also meant we had some time to get our heads together. I have off on Mondays so I could take Jerry to and from work.

I missed work on that Saturday (I was supposed to work a wedding for a friend of mine who owns her own photo booth company – shameless plug for Tiny Tin Photo Booth!). We need money (read: wedding) and I hate letting people down but I told my friend as soon as I knew I’d be late and kept them updated when it turned out I wouldn’t make it so they too, accepted what was happening. I had done everything I could to keep them updated and the result of me having to miss work was simply the reality of the situation. I’m not going to lie, my friend accepting the situation helped me with my own acceptance for sure!

We can’t get the car looked at for nearly three weeks – with our warranty we are required to see certain mechanics so it’s left us a bit stuck in that respect – but we will survive.

A car rental is not an option right now because, as mentioned, we need to save money for our upcoming wedding (final vendor payments are all due in the next couple months!!) so we have to get creative. Jerry and I have different work schedules so I can only take him to work – he needs to find rides (which sometimes means paying for one) home. I’m staying optimistic that once they are able to look at the car we can be approved for a car rental. And if not – again, we will survive.

None of it is fun. I’m not enthused and I do not find joy in any of this.

But I continue to choose acceptance. Time will pass and, as it has many times before, these events will all become memories and we will move forward and find ourselves involved in other circumstances.

What we have to remember is, the only thing that’s real – the only thing that truly matters – is right now. The present moment. And we have to decide how we want to experience that moment.

And, I can honestly say, as I sit here in the cool air conditioned room I work in – Jerry safely at work and so am I – the heat wave broken, I am so very grateful I choose acceptance. We are far from out of the weeds with the car but we are moving forward and I am so happy I chose to conserve my energy that day.

That one small decision (much like the Grinch’s kindness in Dr. Suess’ classic) impacted the size of my ego. Except instead of it growing in size, like the Grinch’s heart did, my ego shrunk a bit.