30 Day Challenge – Day 13

Enjoying some fun and games with coworkers – there are so many ways to celebrate success and to bond with your team. Drinking shouldn’t feel like the only option! But if that’s the planned activity BE HONEST with yourself and your coworkers.

Tis’ the season for holiday work parties. If you read my post, “30 Day Challenge – Day 11” I discussed attendance. Today I want to talk about drinking with your coworkers.

I have worked in both the start-up and the tech world. Additionally, I worked in midtown Manhattan. All of this is to say, I’m no stranger to mixing booze and work. There were monthly happy hours, conferences and meet-ups, all of which included drinking. And, whether right or wrong, there was usually beer in the fridge. In fact, my group was so comfortable mixing drinking and work that management often passed out drinks in the office once it got past 5PM.

There’s a lot going on here and in a future post I’d like to really dive in to the concept around this “culture” but for now let’s focus on a question most have had to deal with regardless of where they work or the type of industry they work in. Should you drink at your work’s holiday party?

I think the first question you have to ask yourself is, how are you with drinking? If you have no issue limiting your intake, you have no history of struggling to control how much you drink, and you have a safe plan to get home afterward then in my opinion it’s okay to partake in some casual drinking at your work party where alcohol is being provided.

The reason you should pause to ask yourself these questions is this is work – don’t get confused. Yes, it might be after hours or even IN A BAR but this is being hosted by your EMPLOYER. So ultimately, it’s still a work event and you should treat it as such. Think of it like when you were younger. If you went on a field trip, even if it’s to an amusement park, it’s a school function and you would still get in trouble by the school if you were caught doing something that violated school policy. Don’t be fooled by the “party” atmosphere, you are still at work.

So what do you do if you do struggle to control your intake or you don’t have a safe way home after the party? Should you not go? I think the best way to handle this is to be honest. Be honest with yourself and with your coworkers. If being around people who drink is too much for you because you know you won’t be able to control yourself, you must acknowledge this. People will respect that. Alcoholism is still not something people always know how to talk about but I think people get it and would never want to put you in danger (if they don’t get it then I’d strongly re-evaluate your work environment and if it’s the healthiest place for you).

Only you know your limits.

Are you able to walk or drive over to the party with your coworkers, order juice or soda, indulge in the appetizers, and hang out for a bit before saying your goodbyes and heading home? The beginning of the party is when everyone is still sober so if you don’t want to completely miss out on the event (I’ll go deeper into the reasons why you wouldn’t want to miss the party in a future post) this is a nice compromise. If there’s a dinner first, even better! You can enjoy dinner and then head home before the real drinking begins.

But if you know being around other people drinking is going to trigger you and you won’t be able to stop – don’t be ashamed to decline the invite. Make an extra effort to connect with coworkers in other ways and maybe even get involved in your office’s party planning for future holidays and events. You’re probably not alone in wanting an opportunity to bond with colleagues and celebrate that doesn’t necessarily promote drinking with coworkers. One year, my company had all of us attend a cooking class. In teams, we worked together to prepare our dinner and then everyone ate together. That was the party! After that is when folks decided they wanted to keep the party going and drink but it was totally optional and by that point we had all spent a few hours together so anyone who dipped out didn’t miss much.

What are your thoughts on drinking with coworkers? Do you think differently about those who do versus those who don’t drink at company events when alcohol is being provided? Have you experienced for yourself or witnessed others who’ve let their drinking get out of hand and did it impact their employment or was it ignored?

As I mentioned, in a future post I’d like to dig into this topic a bit more. For now, remember to be honest with yourself and your coworkers – never feel like you need to sacrifice your health or your safety to “connect”.

30 Day Challenge – Day 11

Let’s talk about work holiday parties.

Tiny Tin Photobooth Holiday Party at Tilted Axes in West Chester, PA💗

There are so many types of work parties. Some companies simply have everyone bring in a dish to share and have food out for the day. Other places will host a lunch. Some may have a party on-site right after the close of business. And then there’s the off-site night time holiday party, complete with open bar!

Regardless of what type of holiday party your company has it’s supposed to be a way for the employer to show their appreciation for their employees and for everyone to share in the holiday spirit by coming together for something other than work.

In this post, I want to specifically talk about whether you even attend the party.

My first thought, personally, is why would you not? There’s free food and maybe even booze (solid) and you get to hang out with your work friends in a non-work environment or at least it feels less like a work environment when you are being “festive”.

But then I’m reminded, what if you genuinely don’t consider anyone at work “a friend”? I guess the question I would ask you is, why?

The average full-time employee sees their coworkers more than they see their own family. To me, why would you not want to make friends with those people. In my experience, being friendly with my coworkers fosters a much more pleasant and productive work environment.

But, there is a school of thought that work and personal lives should be kept separate. Do you know a person like this? Someone who never attends a single company event that isn’t absolutely REQUIRED. Someone who rushes out the door as soon as they are clocked out for the day. Someone who honestly prefers to eat lunch alone and steers clear of asking and especially answering personal questions.

I get wanting to get back to your kids at home or missing your significant other or even just having a lot going on personally. I don’t hold that against people, but why would you not want to be part of the organization you spend so much time giving your energy to? If you simply don’t enjoy the people you work with I’d strongly encourage you to reconsider where you work. That’s so much of your life being surrounded by people who are not helping you grow. You are not gaining a thing being around those people.

Maybe that’s the point – you don’t consider work an opportunity to grow personally. It’s work and nothing more.

It’s fascinating to me how overlooked the interpersonal connections we create in this world are. I’m the total opposite, I feel so motivated to connect with everyone I meet. The less likely it seems I should be able to connect with someone the more determined I may be.

I believe, we are all connected and to shut down around people is such a lost opportunity to feel the power in that connection.

The long-term impact is phenomenal from my own experience. Now, when we cross paths there is a tangible vibration that elevates our interactions. We are now not mere acquaintances but we have acknowledged our connection as humans and every interaction there after is more meaningful for it.

What are your thoughts on this? Does your work have a company holiday party or do you have lots of “team bonding” events (very popular these days) and if so, do you participate? Why or why not? Let me know your thoughts!

Stay tuned! I’ve got some more topics I’d like to explore around “holiday work parties.”