30 Day Challenge – Day 22

Oops. I missed another day. With the holidays and everything I guess I was a bit burnt out yesterday because other than waking to eat, I honestly slept through most of the day.

I hope you are all enjoying the holidays and getting a chance to slow down and spend time with loved ones!

This Christmas was the first year married to my husband. It was nice overall. We got to wake up in our own home with our tree lit up and we had some gifts underneath. We even left out cookies and milk for Santa.

Cookies for Santa – I love my husband.

If you read, “30 Day Challenge – Day 18” I talked a little about this being our second Christmas tree ever and how we usually are in Vermont with my family for Christmas. This year we are going to visit my family after the New Year so it’s been bitter-sweet. I don’t see my family as much as I would like to so Christmas is the one time of year I bank on being with them. At least they were here somewhat recently for my wedding in October so it hasn’t been as long as it can sometimes be between visits.

We spent our quiet morning together home opening presents from each other and for our pit bull Jayda. We had coffee and bagels and listened to Christmas music. It was simple and sweet and a perfect first Christmas as husband and wife.

Baby Jayda had a great morning 💗

Around 10:30AM we headed to my husband’s parents house (they also now live in Delaware so it’s really nice) and picked them up so we could all drive to NY together to have dinner with the rest of my husband’s extended family. We got to Staten Island a little after 1PM, JUST in time for the delicious spread of antipasto (course #1 from the total of 4 that would be served). I am so grateful to have married into an Italian family. They are generous, fun, and love to eat – my kind of people for sure!

Christmas Antipasto – Staten Island, NY

It was lovely seeing everyone for the holiday. We were missing a couple people but overall it was great to all be together for dinner.

We got home by 8PM so it was a long day but not terribly so.

In a few days it’ll be the New Year! I’ll also be turning 31 on the 31st. My birthday tends to get lost in the shuffle but last year my then fiancé, Jerry, really went out of his way to make me feel special. He took me and a huge group of our friends out to a really nice dinner with a delicious cannoli cake and then dancing at this really cool bar/club that was made out of an old apartment and so they kept the them – it legit looks like you are at a college house party and it was perfect.

This was after he also got us a beautiful hotel room for the night and had taken me out for drinks and appetizers earlier in the evening (I’ll always admit I am spoiled). Then, for the actual day of my 30th birthday we went to a local spot that had a cover for open bar, buffet, and a DJ. It was another celebration and it meant so much to me; especially because he actually sacrificed being with his parents (they were supposed to come out and join us but ended up staying home) and that’s a HUGE DEAL.

Every year, Jerry has a tradition/superstition he shares with his father. It was passed down to his father from his grandfather and perhaps his father before that. It’s a nice thought but it does occasionally cause conflict (especially when we’d like to celebrate another way). Every year, Jerry has to be by his father’s side as the ball drops (or as they say in his family, “for the bells”). It’s their belief it brings in good luck for the new year. It’s also strangely this super depressing time for them. They think about everyone who’s not with them anymore and they essentially hold onto each other super tight. It’s as if they think they can stop anything bad from happening the following year if they are physically together at the turn of it.

It’s been, quite unfortunately, proven untrue. In fact, last year being my 30th and the first year Jerry wasn’t next to his father for the bells, resulted in this being the first year in the past few where we didn’t lose a family member on his dad’s side…I know I sound horrible but, just sayin’. I love my husband’s family but I can’t say I always agree with them.

Is it nice to spend holidays with loved ones when you can? Absolutely! Should you create this idea that if for whatever reason you can’t be together some times your family is DOOMED and you don’t actually care about each other? No. Not at all.

Anyway, do you and your family have any traditions or superstitions that are unique to you? Does everyone go along or has it gotten complicated as people have gotten older or as new people have joined your family?

30 Day Challenge – Day 19

This week is Christmas! Schedules are a little wonky for the next several days – I don’t have to work until Friday! I live in a college town and the students (who largely come from the NYC area) have left for winter break and the streets and shops are so much quieter. It’s nice.

Brew HaHa on Main Street, Newark DE

Maybe because of this, I felt a little bit bolder today and have snuck away to a local coffee shop to write, listen to podcasts, and enjoy my day off. That’s one thing I stopped doing this year. I haven’t taken enough productive time outs. Normally, when I have time I mainly want to sleep.

Today I felt compelled to force myself out of the house and use the time to write.

I am still trying to figure out what I’m doing. I have (as many others I know do) a long list of goals. I was talking to a brilliant friend of mine about this casually yesterday and she asked if I’ve ever made a vision board.

A vision board is a way for you to set strong intentions and create focus on your goals. You literally create a visual representation of your goals. This idea is actually really appealing to me because I tend to get extremely overwhelmed when everything remains swirling around in my head. Makings lists can help but then I get overwhelmed about how long the list is.

A vision board can be a fun project you do with friends or family, or something you do on your own – either way place the board somewhere you will see it everyday!

I’d like to make myself accountable so I’m going to say right now that I am going to make a vision board. I’ll write about the experience and share my board so you can see what I’m talking about and maybe you’ll be inspired to make your own!

Have you checked in with yourself recently? How are you feeling – really? Remember you matter and you should make sure you are giving yourself time when you need it. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the holiday hoopla but don’t be fooled – everyone around you is going through something and they will understand when you need to focus on your needs. Don’t be afraid to speak up about it, you might give someone else the courage to do it for themselves too.

A series of unfortunate Foibles

AND, for the latest edition of Emily and Jerry hiccups, please read below:

This past weekend we participated in a gaming convention in Long Island, NY. This is actually our favorite venue for a con we’ve ever participated in. It’s at the Cradle of Aviation Museum in Garden City, really close to Hofstra (where I actually could have gone to college but didn’t – small world) and it’s full of NASA and other aviation history. It’s really cool to see parts of actual rockets and full size aircrafts hanging from the ceiling.

This was our second time being a vendor at the Long Island Retro Gaming Expo. We took a hiatus last year and in that time this event has EXPLODED. The turnout was amazing! We are so grateful to have been included.

Leading up to these events is always a lot of work. Unfortunately, Jerry and I are perfectionists and that tends to lead to procrastination. See if something can’t be done exactly the “right way” then we can’t do it. We keep pushing it off.

INSTEAD, we should just get it done and improve as we can. Not hold ourselves back.

So, as with every other convention we’ve participated in we were less than a week away from the event and still had a huge workload ahead of us. Jerry spent a few hours each night working on the inventory and I helped clean consoles and other items but it was soon Friday, the day we were to leave for LI, and we were still working.

In the chaos we completely forgot to arrange a sitter for our rescue pit bull, Jayda. She’s an honest sweetheart but has anxiety and isn’t great with new people or new situations so getting her a sitter is a challenge. We normally ask our old roommates who are essentially her uncles now but they were already committed to dog sitting another dog and Jayda needs more time to warm up to that.

Hoping my matron of honor could watch her (she and her husband have had pits and are great with dogs and she and her daughter have actually gotten to know Jayda really well) I asked frantically the day before we were to leave.

Thankfully she agreed and all seemed well! Except, I forgot to mention her anxiety when people she doesn’t know well come in through a door into her space and unfortunately – much like my own first sleepover at my cousin’s house – I eventually had to run back and bring her home.

She just wasn’t ready for all of that.

As we were still hours from being able to leave – it worked out well enough. We asked Jerry’s parents who’ve watched her many times and get along with her well to please come visit while we were away. Jerry’s parents have a German Shepherd who used to be friends with Jayda in Brooklyn but got into one too many fights for everyone’s liking. Bringing Jayda to their house just didn’t seem like the best idea given she was already so anxious, especially.

So, we finally hit the road at midnight.

I was very tired and so was J. But we paid for two nights in the hotel and I didn’t see why we couldn’t just get there and sleep a few hours and keep some semblance of our original plan.

I completely underestimated my fatigue. I was forced to stop at 2 or 3, or 4 (I can’t remember) rest stops along the NJ Turnpike. The entire drive should not have taken more than 3 hours but I was so tired. I couldn’t drive straight through as I had thought.

By 4AM we were finally 10 minutes away from the hotel. I was already picturing myself cozy under the sheets. We had made it!

It was then that I saw the flashing lights behind me. I was getting pulled over.

I was getting pulled over.

Wait, WHAT? Why was I getting pulled over??

I know I was not speeding – so what the hell?

I shook J awake in the passenger seat and told him I was getting pulled over but I didn’t know why. He groggily still asked, “What happened?”

I had nowhere to actually pull over so, I had to drive a little bit until I reached an exit ramp where there was room for us to both park. The officer approached the passenger side since I was still pretty close to the parkway. The officer asked for my license and the rental agreement but of course, for some reason, J had packed the rental paperwork in the back of the cargo van.

“That’s fine, just your license then,” said the officer.

Apparently, there are no commercial vehicles allowed on NY state parkways.

1. I had no idea this was the law/rule
2. I barely even realized I was on a parkway (again exhausted, been driving for hours, and it was 4AM!!)
3. I was completely unaware I was driving a “commercial vehicle”
4. I was following my GPS so I honestly didn’t even know how else to get to our hotel

Apportioned is NOT commercial…but it’s still all really confusing.

None of that mattered apparently because I got 2 tickets for the violation which I won’t know the cost of until I make my plea.

It’s confusing, on the UHaul website it specifically states, ” U-Haul trucks are not classified as commercial vehicles. If a customer receives a ticket for a commercial vehicle, they can attempt to dispute it with the jurisdiction.”

Seems NY jurisdiction overrules? People are telling us to fight it but I don’t know.

When we looked up the violation, tickets can be anywhere from $400-$600 EACH. Yikes. This whole thing really sucks.

Jerry wanted to quit – and I honestly couldn’t blame him. Part of me wanted to also. But, we had come so far. Why would we turn back now. Everything would be for nothing. Also, I knew once we were at the convention everything else would fade away. I just knew it.

The cop told us about an app we could download to find directions to the hotel that did not include the parkway (this says so much about the world we live in today) and after an additional 40 minutes or so we finally, FINALLY made it to the hotel.

We checked in and practically ran to our room – flopped in the bed and cherished the couple hours of sleep we would have before we had to leave for the convention. We were supposed to be there for 7AM.

**************

Should we fight the tickets?

Have you ever had a similar series of unfortunate events that you know were also partly your own fault?

What was the most confusing thing you’ve ever gotten a ticket or arrested for?

A New York Minute

Riding back on Amtrak I have a moment to reflect. Another amazing day in my life.

I don’t think I do this enough. I can’t express all of the gratitude I have for everything around me.

I am really fortunate.

I have a job. I work with good people. I can pay all of my bills. I am loved, truly, by some of the most brilliant and kind people.

I work remotely so when I get to travel into the office it’s a real treat for me – I miss being around people!

I get to go out to happy hours. And laugh and feel so free!

I get to have great conversations. People respect what I have to say and listen when I speak.

I have a really good life.

Today was a quick trip.

Up at 6 – on the train – in by 9 and back again before midnight.

I’m super happy with where I am. I don’t regret anything. But sometimes, I wish I wasn’t so far away from the friends it took me so long to make. I’m not from NYC so when I finally made it my home and then promptly left – it kinda felt like I made a mistake.

Two years later and I know everything happened for a reason. I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

I will always miss NYC and forever cherish the years I spent there.

And so today I reflect and I appreciate any time I get, even if it’s just a minute.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Cocoa Grinder, Brooklyn NY

 

LOVE the design of this place that opened up in my old neighborhood. 

Look at these handles!

30 Day Challenge: Day 19

Biergarten at The Standard, NYC

A friend of mine and Jerry’s was celebrating her 25th birthday at a place called The Biergarten at The Standard in NYC. It was pretty neat to have my sister with me. I haven’t actually gone out to a bar with her before. The place had its pluses and minuses but overall we had a good time.

If you are ever in the NYC area looking for a beer garden in the Lower East Side, then, well, this is one. My biggest complaint was the odd ticket system they employ. You have to wait in line to get tickets to then wait in line to get any food or drink. This is after waiting in line to actually get in, of course.

But regardless the food wasn’t bad and the atmosphere was pretty interesting. Having a nice big table with all our friends was neat too. There were even foosball and ping pong tables if you like playing games while you drink.

30 Day Challenge: Day 18 (Live and Learn)

2014 Mideast Regional, Ocean City, Maryland

This is my 18th post (in not 30 days). I wish I could say that I’ve written one post every day for 18 days but I often convinced myself that for one reason or another I couldn’t.

And then, as more and more days came between me and my goal, I started to believe it was over and I had failed so I should just stop.

I said this to myself like I had broken some imaginary blogging rule. There isn’t by the way.

This is MY blog. I make the rules.

This weekend I’m in Ocean City, Maryland for a convention. Jerry is part of an amazing opportunity and I support him. I’ve attended a couple of these conventions before but this weekend really forced me to evaluate some things.

I impose rules on myself all the time. I also hinder my own success by telling myself I am doing it wrong or I can’t do what I set out to do. It sounds obvious, but I have to stop doing this.

I am making the conscious decision to instead, encourage myself. Life is always going to be full of unexpected challenges, why should I impose more on myself?

Something I struggle with is accepting that you need to have patience to succeed. Patience with others, but most importantly patience with myself.

Baby steps are easier to visualize than to actualize.  Most things in life are. But if you believe in your WHY and you are patient with yourself, it becomes a way of life.

I have a lot of ideas right now. I have a lot of hope and motivation too. But it’s up to me to take action.

❤

30 Day Challenge: Day 17

My beautiful, inside and out, sister Julia visiting me in NYC

One of my beautiful, amazing younger sisters came to NYC on this day. I miss my family so much. They live in Vermont and it’s really hard not seeing them. We are a pretty close family (my mom had four kids in five years, that’s pretty close).

This is my sister Julia. She’s about to graduate in less than a month (May 2014) with a Bachelor of Science in Art and a minor in Psychology. She aspires to be an art therapist because she’s struggled with her own mental health and art has always been a source of relief for her. She ended up in NYC because one of her art classes planned a tour of museums and I scooped her up and took her back to Brooklyn with me. So am so grateful I got to see her. I love her.

30 Day Challenge: Day 16

(Please don’t) let it snow

It SNOWED. It’s April 16th and it SNOWED.

Pretty, but super disappointing. Where is summer?

30 Day Challenge: Day 15

Home sweet home

I ride the subway all the time. Every weekday I commute an hour from my home in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn to mid-town Manhattan for work. I then commute an hour back home at the end of each day. I take the same trains every day I do this commute.

On this particular day, I was sitting on the train playing solitaire (a nice way to pass the time) when I realize I am not on the right line. The D train I was riding had turned into a B and was taking me to a different part of Brooklyn. Yay.

This has happened to me before. But in my favor — effectively cutting my hour commute in HALF. This day, I nearly doubled my commute having to back track and then transfer to the correct train home.

Public transportation was not my friend this day.